Kalamazoo, MI
one-hundred-forty Years of Service to the Student

Buzzkill

Squirrel Community Prepares for Winter with New Tunnel System

(Robert Manor / Index)

Swishing his extraordinarily long and fluffy tail from side to side, Nutserfluf, Kalamazoo College Campus Squirrel Community Director and Chief of Nuts said that he expects the upcoming winter to hinder the nut collecting.

“It’s hard enough with all you kids running around our campus, but when the snows come it adds a whole other level of difficulty,” said Nutserfluf.

The Organzation of Nuts began preparing for the winter in mid-July. They created new nut caches and began work on their underground tunnel system.

Although the traditional squirrel nests have been used since the 1700’s the increase in the harsh winters have caused the squirrel community to adapt to the conditions, said Nutserfluf.

“I came up with the idea, and with some help from Nutso in the Construction Organization I really think this will minimize our winter squirrel loses,” said Nutserfluf.

On average the K squirrel community loses 20 squirrels per winter. A majority of those lost are the young and elderly, but not always.

Last winter Nutserfluf’s wife, Nibbles McBushy died while looking for food in the campus trash cans. The loss of his wife, has caused Nutserfluf to take a hands-on approach to minimize winter squirrel loses.

“I was distraught when Nibbles died, I could hardly eat my nuts,” said Nutserfluf. “But I had our daughter, Furryface to look after and the rest of the squirrel community, I couldn’t just give up.”

The tunnel system follows underneath the campus sidewalks and roads. The entrances to the tunnels are within trees on the quad. Several trees had to be hollowed out for the project but Nutserfluf said it was a necessary loss.

“We couldn’t just put the entrances anywhere, students would try to break in and steal our nuts,” said Nutserfluf. “We hated to ruin some of the oldest trees on campus but it was for the good of us all that we did it.”

But Nutserfluf does thank the students’ for the examples of innovativeness and dedication to improvement that they provide for the squirrel community.

“Ya know, we really hate the students sometimes, but we couldn’t have thought of this plan without you all,” said Nutserfluf. “But we’re still going to throw nuts at you from the trees.”

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Squirrel Community Prepares for Winter with New Tunnel System