Kalamazoo, MI
one-hundred-forty Years of Service to the Student

Buzzkill

Local Hero Reunites Student with ID Card

Hero poses holding rescued ID, bringing attention to the situation via the K Student Body Facebook page (Elyse Tuennerman / The Index). Hero poses holding rescued ID, bringing attention to the situation via the K Student Body Facebook page (Elyse Tuennerman / The Index).

When Jeffrey McFall K‘17 found a K ID card on the sidewalk in front of Trowbridge Hall last week, he knew just what to do.

The brave student acted quickly, posting an unedited photo of the ID to the K Student Body Facebook page within 10 minutes of its discovery. Against all odds, this public display of the rightful owner’s embarrassing freshman-year photograph, full name, student ID number, and date of birth helped the ID find its way home.

“I just wanted to do the right thing,” McFall said. “And also satisfy my burning need for attention.”

The rescuer notes that, while he could have simply looked up the owner’s K email address, messaged them privately on Facebook, or given the ID directly to the Office of Security, he felt that it was important to go the extra mile—and get validation from his peers in the process. Classmates, friends, and neighbors all assisted with the rescue effort, repeatedly tagging the owner in comments on the post. All in all, over 15 Facebook notifications were sent.

Statistics show that, while posting on the K Student Body Facebook page is not the most efficient means of reuniting student ID cards with their owners, it is by far the most popular—and the most likely to make the person posting feel a short-lived sense of community harmony and perceived importance.

While the Office of Security commends McFall for his quick thinking and bravery, they advise individuals who find lost student IDs to consult with Security before taking matters into their own hands.

“We are just a little confused,” the Office of Security said in a press release about the incident. “Our office is open 24/7, but if we aren’t there you could easily just slip an ID under the door. We realize that students are hesitant to give up an opportunity for fleeting internet fame, but it’s really just simpler to give lost things to us. It’s kind of our job.”

As for the reunited couple? “It was a spare ID, actually,” Claire Howland K‘18 said. “I lost it a couple of months ago and just bought a new one. But, uh, I guess that I’m thankful for Jeff’s help.”


Buzzkill is The Index’s end-of-quarter satirical publication.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published.


*


Local Hero Reunites Student with ID Card