Now that the roller-coaster that was getting kicked off the beach by an excessive number of middle-aged white people with megaphones is over, let us take a moment to reflect on the phoenixes which truly rose from the ashes that day: the DOGL memes. Have I taken even one art appreciation course? No, but the Art Institute of Chicago is awesome and Van Gogh was a stud, so I’ll put on my best vintage blazer and be overly analytical.
With words to the effect of “Here lies DOGL 1974-2017,” this piece is simple in construction. No moving parts, no cartoons, and no sound effects. What really awards this piece a place in the spotlight is a direct quote from the police, chiseled into animated rock: “Leave our beaches now.” Of course this is most effective if you read it in an authoritative, hyper-mid-western accent. And the shade of grey chosen has a soothing quality, I guess?
The Weird Scuttling Crab Thing
This piece utilizes a moving character that is possibly the love child of Mr. Krabs and Patrick Star. It features the “K” logo expertly slapped onto the face of this creature, which scurries away from a cluster of bottles under the heading: “When the cops crash K’s beach party (laughing face emoji).” The muted tones and flat quality give it a fun, retro look that harkens back to animation of the mid-nineties, allowing us a portal into an era when we still had Tupac and a lot more of the rainforest.
SpongeBob creations were all the rage this season, but this one had that extra something special. Under the heading “BREAKING NEWS: Raw Footage of K Students WILD at Beach,” everyone’s favorite yellow sponge bops along the ocean floor, grinning as most of us were before we were told sarcastically that “our parents would be so proud.” The piece is a gripping symbol of young adult innocence, so quickly corrupted by assumption of our hoodlumry (art critics make up words, probably). This kind of artistic mastery demonstrates an intimate knowledge of a larger theme: we were all just walking around smiling and happy to have a break from being community advocates and scholars.
Girl in Green
An iconic photograph can become a meme when graced with just the right Facebook caption. “Dear girl in green, you are all of us,” the author of the post poetically relays. Captured is the face of a student in a green bathing suit, staring sadly at a police officer with a megaphone. Her anguish is heart-wrenching, and the bars of the fence behind her does not foreshadow the time in a physical jail with which she was threatened, but the mental prison that results from being robbed of your one school-sanctioned day to just run around on the beach.
Buzzkill is The Index’s end-of-quarter satirical publication.